FC Gyro 24-2 Dynamo Diabolical

Since I got the call telling us we were up against FC Gyro, I'd been desperately hoping that either there were two FC Gyros, that I'd misheard the bloke on the phone, or that this was a cup match. There was surely no way this team were in our league. Add to this the fact that we'd had two players drop out of the match (Manny due to absurdly high alcohol intake over the last three weeks. We worked out he's been sober about four or five days in that time period. Dan because he didn't realise there was a match on). This was worrying. We'd have no subs. Then I got in last night and had a large amount of reheated soy sauce for some inexplicable reason, so I woke up feeling like death.

Anyway, we got to the match and managed to rope another guy in - a mate called Nick W, who played in jeans and inappropriate footwear.

We rolled up a little early with our six players and watched the team who'd beaten us last week beat another team, which is quite promising. Maybe we'll do alright against that lot later in the year. On the pitch the game kicked off with Richard in goal, myself at centre back, Nick D at right back, Tom in centre mid and Jamie at left back. Parking the damn bus. We even managed not to concede for about three minutes this time. Then a couple of us had shots before I steered a goal in expertly. Past my own keeper. 2-0. I think Nick D then scored for us to be only 2-1 down before we put in our only spell of sustained pressure, although it didn't lead to a great deal. They scored a few more and we subbed Nick D off for Nick W. This was where we fell apart a little, and as well as conceded seven goals before half time we managed to give away a fair few free kicks and continuously took our centre before the referee had whistled.

Speaking of the referee, he found us hilarious. Kept muttering things like "oh, that's one for youtube" and "why do this lot bother?" Both fair remarks. I went off and sat out the second half as I felt horrible. We went 12-1 down before scoring our second and then didn't do anything else for the rest of the game. Well, there were a few shots here and there but their keeper was competent so nothing went close to the back of the net. By the end of the game we were all in our own half and their goalie was just chatting to the subs at the side. Slightly embarrassing.

Anyway, on the plus side it's slightly better than 40-5, but we didn't get it together up front at all today. Never mind. I'm sure we won't be losing by this amount again.